The man decides to jump off the bridge and decides to make one last phone call. "Hello, Jane, this is Doug. I just wanted to let you know, from the bottom of my heart, that I love you." Person on the phone says "This is not Jane, this is Joe." "Oh, hi, Joe. Could you just tell your wife what I said. Bye." The man continues to jump down the bridge and swims with his beautiful girlfriend. They all had a great day.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the slaughterhouse was on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Getting your balls chopped off by a maniac on LSD.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q.Why did the black man go to college? A. What does his race have to do with anything?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why the fuck he crossed the road, I don't know what he is thinking.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A black guy and a mexican guy are falling from a building. Which one hits the ground first? Who cares

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q. How do you blindfold a Chinese man? A. With a blindfold.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

God is the English name given to a singular being in theistic and deistic religions who is either the sole deity in monotheism, or a single deity in polytheism. He (I use the term 'He' as it is the most common conception) is said to be omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omnibenevolent. I highly doubt he will give you lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red, pink, white or yellow. Stop stereotyping my arrogant fellow.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There was a man with a job and kids. One day he came home from his job and went to sleep. He never woke up because it turns out he had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into a bar, looks around, and reveals an AK-47 assault rifle he had been concealing beneath his trenchcoat. He then turns to his left and fires repeated shots around the bar, to the surprise and fear of many. Then he shoots himself. The death total is estimated at 9, including the shooter, while the total injured is around 22.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did Grandma give little Ben for Christmas? a wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down -9

anti joke What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the hispanic say to the black guy? I'm not sure. I wasn't listening because eavesdropping is rude.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops