My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, he'd be really really old.

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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Legal Mexicans in Texas

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What do you say when you see a flying donkey Wtf

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Your mom is so ignorant that she in completely unaware how the premature termination of QE2 in conjunction with a potential US credit downgrade could substantially impact her fixed income portfolios and hinder her ability to retire in the desired time frame.

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What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

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*Pretend your an orphan] Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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What do you call a house full of Mexicans? A house

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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why are black people so good at basketball? because they understand the fundamentals, work hard at becoming better, and have fun playing the game/

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What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

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punchline below punchline above

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saftey torch you can out it on the porch. saftey torch put it in the hallway. saftey torch scare the monsters away. saftey torch that'll be 50 bucks.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

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Whats a Quires favorite type of sport?--- A contact sport

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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