Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza is a tasteful meal and a Jew is a person of Israeli decent.

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There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, the orphanage did not have sufficient funds to give everyone a present because they did not want to how favoritism because the orphans are already sad enough and te orphanage does not want the orphans killing them selves

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How do you change your dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

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Why did the man pull out his chainsaw? To get rid of a tree in his front yard.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

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What did obama say to the united states of america YES WE CAN

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Who is the best person to do your nails with? Nobody, you have no friends.

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Your Black, Im Black, We're all Black

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the lemon was sweet.

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Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? They do, they just choose not to compete certain years.

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Why didn't grandma ever return Johnathon's calls? Grandma was brutally murdered 2 years prior. Johnathon had issues believing that she was gone. He went on to live a life of pain and suffering, which would eventually lead to suicide at the age of 24.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A worm in your intestinal tract.

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(This poem is written by a dog) Roses are gray Violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

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Why did the little kids call the boy "pornboy" Because he showed gay porn at the bus stop

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whats worse than biting your apple and finding a worm? WWII.

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Q: What do people usually find funny? A: A joke.

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Can I ask you a question? You just did

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A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

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What do you call a black man playing golf? A golfer.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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