Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had down-syndrome

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Ya know what's funny? A joke well-told by a professional comedian.

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Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

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Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

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How do chinese name their kids? They drop silverware

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What is the last bit of snow to fall from the sky called? Nothing. Meteorologists have not come up with a scientific term for this phenomenon.

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Why do girls like nikki minaj? Because she raps good. -Avery Vartanian

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how many baby's does it take to clean paint your house red. depends on the quality of the crusher.

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She didn't have a dog.

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What is the difference between a baby and a tree? Its not illegal to hit one with an axe

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How many immature teenagers does it take to change a light bulb? Ya mum.

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Whats white and rubs stuff out ? An albino with a rubber.

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Old, Asian, Woman who drive

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You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

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a boy liked a girl. too bad she didn't like him.

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Why did the african kid die He was mauled by a tiger in a zoo

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What's the difference between a guitar and a fish? Fish are living organisms and guitars are instruments used for people's entertainment

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Why did Jerald heat up pizza? Because he was hungry.

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Whats similar about an elephant and a plum? Theyre both gray, except for the plum

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Why didn't Suzie Fall off the Swings? She Has no legs and couldn't get on

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Q:What is usually pink, brown or black, usually big and comes out smaller, which goes in and out of your mothers mouth? A: Could be lots of things really... Moral: But we all know what you imagined you sick bastard!

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Q:What did the frog say to the mailman? A:Nothing theres no mail on Sunday's.

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Depends how you look at it, I like some girl, she and that girl gets along, I get along with the two girls, and yeah, I make them fight to the death as I consume the weakest one and make the new one my wife of darkness! Well, actually, threesomes, but NEVAH, NEVAR!! *shakes fist towards the skies* with another man! Now if my waifu wants to have some fun with a girl, I say why not (and then she asks if I want to join always so far), its genetics, you know, each caveman had like 600 wivus and he did not have time to bang them all, now let those genes go trough MAN for a couple of millenia, and he becomes the KING OF DEMONS... ME! Those other scumbags are a whole other story. Oh, and the 600 wivus did either go without sexytime, or you know... I mean you do KNOW that women are like comfortable naked together and yeah...

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Freeza: I am the strongest in the universe! (if you ignore my brother Coola which is much stronger and all...) Goku: You have pissed me off now Freeza, I will now turn into a super Asian and prove to the world that real Asians are actually blonde and blue eyed! (I am sure Goku means Sayans, which is "completely different") Goku: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG! Freeza: Omg, he... he... is trying to take a dump! IMPOSSIBLE! I will have to find his balls and caress them... Will Goku ever take a shit? Or reach all new levels of constipation during the series? Find out in the next episode of dragon ball z!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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