How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A hat

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Whats the difference between a lamp and Morgan Freeman? Alot

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm an orange.. Person 2: Are you an orange? Person1: No..

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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What happend to the Jew when he was near the fire place He very carefully tended to it

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A kid walks into a bar He gets kicked out

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Stick figure says to the artist "Can't you make it any bigger?" Artist:"No, I ran out of lead?"

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q ggggggggggggggggg

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What did the serial killer do when his check bounced? He promptly deposited more money into his account.

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What is worse than Jerry Sanduski? Nothing

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Whats funnier then two babies falling off a cliff? 2 babies falling off a cliff

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Roses are red,violets are blue, dont read my words, says the ring of lords.

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A guy walks up to a midget and he says: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

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Hey babe, are you a refrigerator? -No... Good--'cause I wanna f*ck you so hard. Best pickup line. Always works.

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When I was little I used to love to dig up worms. Out of my ass.

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I SWEAR TO GOD I'M NOT GAY! But my boyfriend is. Love you, Jeff.

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what would your nan do if she was alive right now? scratching the top of the coffin.

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1: Hey whats better than bacon? 2: What? 1: Nothing. Nothing is better than bacon.

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hi

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A grandma starts pinching her grandsons cheeks and saying who's a little cutie pie the baby begins to bleed cause his grandmas nails are peircing his skin

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a dog ate my homework but then he returned it on the lawn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops