How do you stop your golf ball from hitting a goose? You dont.

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How do you make a tissue dance? You really can't, but you could grab it and shake it around so it looks like its dancing.

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What is small, naked and covered in sperm My son

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Why did the chicken invent a memory ereaser machine? So he could erease everyone's memory so they would stop making chicken jokes

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Rejected Disney titles: - 1,000,000,001 Dalmatians: The Need of Neutering - Beauty and the Bricks - Zambi: the Walking Deer - The Iron King 2: Simba's Ferride - The Little Mormon - Cinderella 4: The Fairy Godfather and his Mafia - Tarzipan of the Choco-Apes - Brother Boar - Home on Deranged - The Emperor's New Sith Apprentice - Mickey and the Mousetrap - Lilo and B**ch

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How did Hellen Keller eat her meals? With a fork.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

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why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because blind people aren't allowed to drive in the United States.

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How did the young boy cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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Yo' momma is so fat, that- Wait. Sorry. Too far?

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what do you call a middle-aged man with one blue suede shoe on, purple hair, pink skin, white eyes, no toenails, 67 fingers, 1 eye, a pocket watch, no clothes, and 8978967564567898765432345678765321234568909876543w245678909876543456098765323456-0987654367890-098765435678-09876543456789098765432345678909876543456789098765435678909876543234567898765323456890-987654345678900987654323456890987653234567890765434568909876543456899876543456789098765434568909876545678987654345678987654567898765434567898765478579458765456789876543223456789876543098765432123456898765432678987654230987653-098765434567898765434898765434567898765456787654567876 butt cheeks? bob.

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sally was hit by a bus and lost both arms knock knock who's there? not sally

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What did the octopus say to the squid? Nothing, considering these two species can't speak.

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An American, an Indian and an African walked into a bar. They had a memorable time together.

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Yo momma's so fat, that she got baptised in Sea World.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

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You are like really sincere aren't you? I really appreciate that in a friend. Thank you for being who you are Nero.

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A Chinese man, an Italian man and a French man are sitting in a plane. They arrive in Los Angeles with a 23 minute delay due to atmospheric conditions

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Why cant a black person read? Because there is nothing to read...

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I pushed my friend off the bed after losing to him in FIFA 2011. He died.

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What has four wheels and flies? A pile of poop that's on four wheels.

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What do men and women have in common? no really what do they have in common

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What did the homosexual get for Christmas off his boyfriend? A lovely present off his loving partner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops