What did the Nazi solider receive on his birthday? A bayonet up his ass.

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What do you get when you combine a potato and an apple? A nice Apple Potato Souffle...

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HEYEEYAHEYAYYAEEAHHAAA

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what did one bean say to the other bean??? hows it been.

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Why did the parents tell their adopted son to go to bed? He was awake long after he should've been, according to the rules in their household.

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What do you call a woman outside of the kitchen? Out of place.

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A man walks into a bar. On the way home, he is driving, careers off the road and crashes. Lesson here. Don't walk into poles

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Well, you see, I'm an extractor fan.

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What to hear an anti-joke? No.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You honstly thought i would cry over you? Well guess what player, You just got played too!

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Roses are red Violets are silly Grease up your flaps Cause here comes my willy!

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How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

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There are two muffins in an oven neither can say anything at the moment, however, because both are in excruciating pain.

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My, you you... SEDUCER! XD, and there I go proving your point by going uppercase XD

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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why did Bernard have a bold because I ripped his Mohawk

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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"Hello, is this the Krusty Krab?" "No, this is Patrick."

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go F*** yourself

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What's black and doesn't work? My blackberry

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How do you make time fly? Develop a flying suit to put on a sun dial.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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why are anti-jokes so funny? they aren't. they're stupid.

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Two black guys walked into a bar. And they killed everybody.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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