What's red and smells like a rose? Bumble-bees licking honey off of a stick.

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What's long, brown, and runs across a family's backward? A fence.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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Why did the girl kill herself? Because she was brutally raped

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So this fat guy farts. It smells.

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How long does it take for light to travel a light-year ? A year.

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knock knock - "who's there" - "i'm a escaped convict who's here to murder you and rob your house" - "Well come in the doors already open"

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Are you gay? No. Ok.

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What do you call a white duck? A quacker

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Guess my favourite fruit. Peach.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 was osama bin laden

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How do you know when an Asian has robbed your house? You have informed the police, who in turn searched the house for DNA evidence, eventually leading them to the criminal, who just so happened to be a troubled Asian teenager attempting to join a local gang.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who?

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Why did the black guy get hit by a banana He was low on potassium and his friend threw the banana too hard

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What did the man say to the tree? Nothing, he was a mime.

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What's worse than the holocaust? The Jews.

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why is justin bieber so pale? Because he hasn't come out of the closet.

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A Muslim man walks away from a populated area leaving his briefcase behind. After a few minutes he returns because he forgot his briefcase.

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I walked into a Mcdonald's and ordered a Big Mac. I regretted it later.

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if life gives you the back.. TOUCH HER ASS

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ask me if i'm a tree are you a tree? No.

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what did the boy in the blue hat do? wear his blue hat

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What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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