Dakota Fanning

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What do you get when you cross a parrot and a beach ball? A beach ball with a parrot design on it.

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why was little johnny laughing all day cactus

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Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

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Whats the first thing you do when your grandmother gets hit by a toaster? Buy a new toaster.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because in between 6 and 7 there used to be the number § but 7 raped and murdered it.

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You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

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Why did the horse stop running? His master beat him to death.

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Why didn't cancer cross the road? Because it was to busy taking my family.

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punchline below punchline above

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Person 1: 'Ask me if I'm a tree' Person 2: 'Are you a tree?' Person 1: 'No.'

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What do you call something that lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know, but that seems like an improbable circumstance.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Did you hear about the 4'10" psychic that escaped from prison? It's on the news! "Small Medium At Large."

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Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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Why was the boy upset? His penis fell off and his mom was making him go to the library.

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Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies? A live baby trying to eat his way out.

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A man and his wife are sitting on the couch in their house, watching tv. The man says, "Do you smell smoke?" The woman then replies, "No." They then proceed to watch more tv.

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??????????? ??????????????? "Hello, idiot teacher! You eat milk."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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