what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead

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Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

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This is a joke.

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Andy: Mom, I wish I was a dinosaur. Mom: Aw, that's cute! Why? Andy: Because dinosaurs do not suffer from terminal pancreatic cancer.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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how how does a black man jump. the same way anyone else does

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Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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Why did the fat kid fall of his bike? The skinny kid pushed him off!

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What do you call a black man with cancer? Someone with cancer

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Two pretzels were walking down the street when one got assaulted...

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Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

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What did the man get when he returned from Africa? AIDS

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Did you hear about the guy with no legs? He had them blown off by a tank shell in Afganistan.

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Who hacks darts? • Jack Nolan aka Bowlbot 300 J-Bowls

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Is this the krusty Crab? No you idiot this is a phone!!!!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

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What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

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Knock knock Who's there Ted Bundy

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Hey. I came up with an anti-joke. I posted it here.

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Knock Knock! Who's There! That's right! And now for our next song: "Magic Bus!" One TwoThree Four.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops