An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas ? cancer

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What do you call a black man that cuts people up and takes their money? A surgeon.

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A fat guy, well over 300 lbs, goes to KFC and orders a big bucket of chicken. He gets his bucket of chicken and goes to sit down on a table to eat his chicken. A man walks up to him and asks him "are you going to share any of that chicken?" The man says "no."

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Three construction workers are high up on a building when they decide to take their lunch break there. The three open their respective lunches, converse pleasantly, and enjoy the fine weather.

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What do you call a muslim on an airplane? A airline passenger.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Female Orgasms

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What did the munchy alzhemiers farmer say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators?

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This dog can only sniff marijuana.

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What's funny and looks like a fish? A clown fish

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A barman walks into a bar. He works there.

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I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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Q: What do you call a blonde that just bought a new car? A: Carol

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An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

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What do you get when you cross an orange with a gerbil? A mailbox that lights up when you open it

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How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

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What did the blind kid that couldn't talk get for Christmas Cancer

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Why did Little Jimmy cross the road? Little Jimmy doesnt have arms and legs, silly, he cant cross the road.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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A chicken crossed the road. It was run over before reaching the other side. by fast asleep

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What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

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what do you call cheese that is not yours? stolen property

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops