What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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I mustache you a question. But I'll shave it for later.

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whdid the cop say to the robber as he ran out of the bakery? I caught you bread handed

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

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like most people my age. im 27

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the blonde go to business school? She wanted to get into business, and decided that a business degree was a good place to begin.

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When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know I asked you

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If Johnny can hold 7 bottles of Vodka in one hand and 6 cans of beer in the other, what does Johnny have? A drinking problem.

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When life gives you lemons you mix them with vinegar to make a drink that will help your high blood pressure.

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

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Your mother is so dumb, that she had a very poor ACT composite score.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? By murdering his family.

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why was the man on the roof? he was about to commit suicide.

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whats worse than worldwarII world war iii

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why was justin sad? his family was murdered

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Why did Little Suzie fall off her bike? I hit her with a shovel. Why did little Suzie die? I hit her with a shovel and she fell off her bike.

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How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know; I was too busy masturbating.

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What do you call a pig that just took a bath? Clean!

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How can you tell Santa is racist? He doesn't give Africans presents.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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The first few weeks of joining weight-watchers...you're just finding your feet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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