My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

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What does a black guy do to a white girl when the lights go off and there's a bed in the room? They go to sleep so they can have enough energy to work their two jobs and provide for their family after they've been evicted from their home.

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Person 1: want to hear a joke? person 2: yes.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The Big Bang. -BG_Shank_A

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why was the little boy crying? he wasnt, he died 2 weeks ago

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Replacement Referees

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What did the cancer patient say to the other cancer patient? Nothing, he was dead.

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Why did the jewish plumber commit suicide? After years abuse from his alcoholic father and rich sibling, he finally snapped and killed himself on his birthday after nobody told him happy birthday.

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facebook is like a refrigerator. you eat it.

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if a dog won't bark, there's no way you can teach it to talk.

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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What's worse then a blind driver? A girl driver

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What did the piano say to the guitar? "G, it's not A nice day. B careful, Dee." What did the guitar say to the piano? "F you!" What did the piano reply? "Eek! C you later!"

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What do people call baby cats in Alabama? Kittens.

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Q: How pregnancy test is performed in Somalia?! A: Shove a piece of bread between the legs of the women and if the bread is bitten when you take it out, she is pregnant!

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Two parrots were sitting next to each other. One parrot said "hey" The other parrot replied "hey" therefore making the first parrot say "hey" which made the other parrot say "hey" again making the... this conversation, comprised of just one word lasted a very long time. aproximately 16749 hours.

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A fat African a rich mexican and a gay guy jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? The gay guy because fat Africans and rich Mexicans don't exist

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whats the difference between a fur rug and a pile of dead babies? i dont lie on a fur rug to pleasure myself

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What did Shaq do when he first met Rondo? Play Basketball

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i am blue you are red ive got a face look at it look at it i say

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'knock knock' 'Who's there?" "the mailman, Ive got mail for you"

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A man walks into a bar he said oww when did this metel bar get here

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Roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in a zoo don't be mad I'll be there too not in a cage but laughing at you

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How do you stop a lawn mower? You throw a baby under it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops