a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

Why some people don't get the flu twice? Because they died!

How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

Two men were walking down the street. All of a sudden, the first man turns to the second and pulls out his hands of 4 fingers each. The second man shows his hand of 6 fingers each. What does this show about them? Together they have 20 fingers total.

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

How do you get Pikachu onto a bus? You ask him politely.

your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

Mr Jones, we're sending you to a mental health clinic

what did the deaf guy say when the poor man asked how life was? the deaf guy didn't respond considering the fact that he was deaf and would never interact with a poor man.

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

Two nerds walk into a bar. The effects of alcohol do not discriminate based upon the social status of said consumer.

Q:What did the scissors say to the paper? A: Nothing, cause thier scissors and paper they don't talk..

Why did Jimmy get off of the park bench? he wanted candy from the man in the white van

Why was the blonde fired from the M &M's factory? Her Masters degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the job she had.

My period is red, Your sauce is white, now pull down your pants and let me do my workout.

Three guys walk into a bar. They each have a few drinks. Then all three leave responsibly in a taxi.

Why did the stoner cross the road? He didn't. He was stoned

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink without making any grammatical errors.

21

What did the feminist say to the CIS white male? I respect you as a person.

What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

Two kids walk into a bar and get arrested for underage drinking.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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