Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the horse stop running? His master beat him to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why didn't cancer cross the road? Because it was to busy taking my family.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call something that lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know, but that seems like an improbable circumstance.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Person 1: 'Ask me if I'm a tree' Person 2: 'Are you a tree?' Person 1: 'No.'

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

punchline below punchline above

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man and his wife are sitting on the couch in their house, watching tv. The man says, "Do you smell smoke?" The woman then replies, "No." They then proceed to watch more tv.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Does this smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the boy upset? His penis fell off and his mom was making him go to the library.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies? A live baby trying to eat his way out.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Did you hear about the 4'10" psychic that escaped from prison? It's on the news! "Small Medium At Large."

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

??????????? ??????????????? "Hello, idiot teacher! You eat milk."

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call it when you kill a Jewish homosexual? Murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. Well, okay, it doesn't actually order it. It more of meows in a begging fashion and the bartender, being a kind individual, gets the lost animal a bowl of milk. But who's to argue semantics?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Thre jews walk into a bar i lied it was a gas chamber

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

thumb_up thumb_down +22

THIS ONE IS MIIINE THIS ONE IS MIIINE I AM TOTALLY TIFA I AM TOTALLY TIFA! This one apparently.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops