You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose... But you cannot be a dinosaur!

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What's up? Well it all depends on your current position, if you are in the center of the Earth then everything would be up. In space there is no gravity so nothing is up. If you don't understand this the sky is up.

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What do you call something green and fuzzy? Grass, I lied about the fuziness.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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why are anti-jokes so funny? Because you are expecting them to encompass one idea of irony, but instead sometimes give a logical explanation to the question.

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why didthe man's computer crash? the man has a serious porn addiction

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Q: what r u eating under there? A: underwear ewww thats nasty

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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A man walks into a bar

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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what do you call a unicorn crossing a bridge? nothing there fake

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-What did the old lady have for dinner? -Dementia

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Ed Milliband knows what's best for the UK.

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Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

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A Muslim walks into a Bar, He buys everyone a round of drinks and enjoys the rest of his night

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had AIDS

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Roses are red.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "It's Dallas" "Dallas Who" James and Dallas's relashonship quickly deteriorated as Dallas realized he and James been best friends for 2 years and James doesn't even know his name.

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Q: Why can't sally play on the swing? A: Because she has no arms Q: Who was the first to climb mount everest? A: Not Sally

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Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

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How do you know a baby is dead ? When the dog plays with it more!

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whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

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Seeing you happy is what makes me happy Nero, it has always been this way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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