A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Knock knock Who's there? (Punch the listner in the face)

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What do you call a man that paints on a his face and wears big shoes? Lady Gaga.

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Why did the black man quit his job as a rapper? Because he was an admirable father and husband and was willing to sacrifice his passion to provide for those he loved.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven

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What's black, then white, then dead all over? Michael Jackson

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A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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What do you call a white man? A caucasian male.

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What's more greasy than grease? Kevin's hair

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Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

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What's the hardest part of rollerblading? Telling your dad you're gay.

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spell backwards: taco cat

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A man walks into a bar. Of chocolate. Yummy!

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Knock Knock! Who's there?! Michelle Bachman.

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What is the difference between and Jew and a Boy Scout? The Boy Scout comes back from camp.

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What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

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What's black and white and read all over? A lot of things.

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Why did the black man get some Kool-Aid? Because he was thirsty, and thought Kool-Aid would be able to quench his thirst.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the marginal benefit of doing so exceeded the marginal cost.

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If a Cheetah and Usain bolt raced in the Olympics who would win? Obviously Usain hes black and cheetahs can't perform in the olympics

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Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional Courtesy

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Hey! Do you like fishsticks? Me too :)

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Don't you hate it when you have 5 dead bodies, and you don't know which one to shoot your load on? -no

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops