Why did the black man quit his job as a rapper? Because he was an admirable father and husband and was willing to sacrifice his passion to provide for those he loved.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A Jew walks on his way to work. He does not notice the quarter lying on the sidewalk and did not care for the dollar lying on the other side of the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

My girlfriend gave me her first ever blowjob last night. I came in her mouth and she washed it down with a can of Carling. Obviously she had to get that horrible taste out of her mouth, so she gave me another blowjob.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A black man breaks into a car, he doesn't steal anything because that would a violation of the car owner's privacy.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why is Brendan stupid. Because he's mentally retarded due to the fact he was dropped as a chil.d

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench can support a family

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the sound of one hand clapping? The same as two hands; just not as loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is sticky and smelly - a stick

thumb_up thumb_down -17

yada yada

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why do gingers have red hair? Its genetically encoded in their DNA

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was depressed for a long time and decided to end his life by getting hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call two dog? dogs

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why did the boy die he had a raging case of cardiovascular disease

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red Violets are blue classic

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a dog with no legs Nothing it won't come

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's white and looks like paper? Paper.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Check out our iPhone App!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the old man fall down the stairs and died? Because he had a stroke and never got life alert!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why did the the frog cross the road? because he was on the chickens back

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I'm shy. The last shitbender. How do you fit babies in that bowl? Get a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Thank you for flying Buzzy Fly Airlines. Today we'll be flying around Uranus.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops