How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Well it depends how many of them can figure out the staircase.

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im @ work, LOL.

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what"s short , has a tail , and is amazing ? maddy cartwright i lied about the tail!

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What happens when an antijoke and a joke comes together? Unicorns mate with Neil Patrick Harris

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What's got eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs head.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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why did the chicken cross the road who's there and the man died of cancer congradulations! your preganant

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

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What do dogs and whales have in common? They both live in the ocean. Apart from the dog.

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What is Black, White and Asian? A Panda Bear

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Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

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i look around to find that my air head is missing, i then figure out that i had eaten it.

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Why did little Suzy fall down? She got shot.

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knock, knock who's their? police get down on the ground!

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what did the duck say to the other duck Quack

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What is veiny, turns hard, and has a tip at the end? The male genitalia used as a reproductive organ mainly in sexual intercourse known as a Penis.

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Q-What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? A-Where's my tractor?

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Why did the frog cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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Are you from Jamaica? 'Cause you're making me crazy! Are you from Haiti? I'm really sorry about all the disaster that's been happening there.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could DO YO MOMM!!!

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What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody nose.

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Q: What do Ethiopians eat at night? A: Nothing.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Noideer! No.Blind What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still Noideer! No, it's basically dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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