You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose... But you cannot be a dinosaur!

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why are anti-jokes so funny? Because you are expecting them to encompass one idea of irony, but instead sometimes give a logical explanation to the question.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: what r u eating under there? A: underwear ewww thats nasty

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-What did the old lady have for dinner? -Dementia

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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A man walks into a bar

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What do you call something green and fuzzy? Grass, I lied about the fuziness.

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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What's up? Well it all depends on your current position, if you are in the center of the Earth then everything would be up. In space there is no gravity so nothing is up. If you don't understand this the sky is up.

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what do you call a unicorn crossing a bridge? nothing there fake

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why didthe man's computer crash? the man has a serious porn addiction

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Ed Milliband knows what's best for the UK.

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A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

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Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

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What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

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whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

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Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

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There once was a man from Nantucket Who was stung on the head by a wasp When asked if it hurt he replied, 'not a bit, and he could do it again if he'd like to.'

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Why Jimmy doesn't listen to his mother? Because he's deaf

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Roses are red.

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How do you know a baby is dead ? When the dog plays with it more!

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Q: Why can't sally play on the swing? A: Because she has no arms Q: Who was the first to climb mount everest? A: Not Sally

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Q: How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? A: 2 in the front, 3 in the back and 95 in the ash tray.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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