Why don't birds cry when they get hurt, lose a loved one, or watch opera? How the f*** should I know.

What's better than being raped by a donkey? Pie.

What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff!

What's worse than having a mouth full of molars? A pole through your chest.

What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

Q: How many jews can you fit in a car? A: Well, it varies on the size of the car and the size of the people entering the car so in reality there is no clear answer due to the lack of information given.

Bob: Whats the difference between a fish and a microwave? Steve: I don't know Bob: Daaaamn your dumb!

What's green, brown, red, and is covered with crumbs in a ditch on the side of the road? A girl-scout who got hit by a car...

How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With floss.

Roses are Tits Violets are Tits I love Tits TITS!

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

What did the homeless man say to his family? Nothing. His family left him after he lost his job.

Whats black and gay? Obama

What do you call a red light A:soon to be green

Why was the black racist guy and the white racist guy, who 0hated each other, afraid of Michael Jackson? They didn't want to be the other each others color.

Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Because he was dangerously fatigued from staying up all night weeping passionately into the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of twenty years after the CEO of the company declared bankruptcy and finding out that his only daughter was in the hospital in critical condition after her school bus flipped off a bridge.

what do you call a mexican being baptized? a mexican becoming christian.

What do you call a person who kills a black? A black man

hello

Why did the chicken cross the road Why? Because his house was burning down on the other side

What's worse than HIV? AIDS -Bob Bobby

A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

What do you call a black man with a club? Tiger woods.

What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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