"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Steve" "Oh hey Steve, come on in"

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that's just been shot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. It's head was cut off and it didn't know where it was

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emma: mat has a quick reaction time

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How the hell do you know? What are you Nero? You are completely right! I was going to say I got no blue tie, but then I forgot you often call ribbons for ties... How? Should I be scared? I am not, no wonder you never felt human... I am shocked, I cant think straight I am confused and... Sorry Nero, Goodnight, if nothing else, you are no demon, but rather an angel, sweet dreams love. The solvemedia says the bible, this is freaky, my mind is numb.

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How can you tell if someone's a Vegan? It will probably come up in conversation, usually during the planning phase of a trip to a restaurant.

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George Bush, a little boy, and his grandfather are on an airplane with a failing engine. They have only two parachutes to save themselves. The plane crashes and they all die.

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I have 13 hedge hogs in one hand and 4 pineapples in my van how many pikelets does it take to cover the roof. Purple because aliens dont wear hats.

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my wife came out of the kitchen....

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whats brown and half eaten? yeah an easter egg that a parent has given to there son/daughter before dinner

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What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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Why did the black man have blood on his hands? He was a surgeon

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What happens when Chuck Norris jumps in the air? He lands.

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Your mama's so skinny; she can fit into most swimsuits sizes 4-6 and has a rather petite bottom.

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Why Lilly fell out of a cradle ? She had no arms.

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"New season of Dr.Phil. How does that make you feel?" ANGERY!!!!!

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Q: What do you call a white man with 5 black men? A: A friendly white man. Q: What do you call a white man with a hundred black man? A: A tourist in Kenya.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by jimmy savile.

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So Nero, seriously, don't be mean, call me, I am going to bed now, nighty nite.

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What's better than being raped by a donkey? Pie.

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Women can vote? wtf

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Yo momma's so fat she got her own zip code! except she doesn't because zip codes are reserved for much larger areas than that of your mother.

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Me: Hey Chris! Chris: WTF.u.c.k

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Whats the saddest part about the sandy hook shooting? There were still bullets in the clip... Im going to hell by the way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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