Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

Two kids walk into a bar and get arrested for underage drinking.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Very, very hungry.

have you seen stevie wonder's harmonica? neither has he.

Q. What did Michael Jackson say to the banana? A. Nothing, he's dead.

Why did the police officer pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

What do you call a man running away from the bus? A man

A heavily drunk man walks into a bar and proceeds to die of alcohol poisoning.

When I grow up, I don't want to be a therapist. I have enough trouble figuring out the problems in my math book.

Hi. P.S: You have aids. P.P.S: Purple penis pumpernickel pie puppets.

what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

How about that airplane food? Ive never been on a plane you tell me

Jack and Jill went up the hill. But it was winter and they froze to death

Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! That's a rather strange psychological problem I think you should consult a professional psychologist rather than see me.

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb One because lawyers are usually well educated and know how to screw in a lightbulb

why did Timmy fall off the the slide? he was hit by a plane why was Jimmy laughing? he watched Timmy get hit by the plane

How did the Jewish man play racquetball? With a racket and a birdie.

Why did Kelsey run out of eggs? Horses don't have much sperm.

A man walked into a bar. Too bad he didn't see it.The man was sent to the hospital 2 hours later when a friendly elderly lady found him badly wounded on the ground.

What did the Chicken say to the Turkey Nothing, Chickens don't talk.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to escape the evil villains in giant mech suits.

Why did the kid fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? Because he had no legs. Knock, Knock Who's there? Not that kid.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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