Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

Did you here about the Asian couple who had a stupid baby? They named him Sum Ting Wong

A guy gets murdered, because of the Reco act the whole gang he belongs to goes to jail as well. They cry in their beds

Q: Why doesn't the young lady speak very much? A: Because she's a whore

1912, the titanic sinks, 1913 ww1 starts, 1939, ww2 starts, 1954, the vietnam war starts, 90's, cold war. wow! the 20th century sucked.

Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

Yo mamas so stupid that she has a condition called autism

What did the dog say to the other dog? Woof.

Knock Knock Who's there? I said who's there? The man opens the door to find there was no one there and begins to shake in fear as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

How do you teach an old dog a new trick? Answer: You can't

Knock knock Who's There? Woo? Woo who? Stop celebrating and let me in.

What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

Did you hear about the guys who were going to France? Well they are not going anymore.

What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

What happened when Mary threw a kettle at Daniel? Daniel was scalded in the facial area and was blinded forever.

How many dueche bags does it take to change a light bulb? 0 They're two complete unrelated things

Dead on Aodhan your breaking te ten commandments by lying you jew you dont believe in the divinity of Christ.

So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

Your mother is so ugly corrective surgery would not be able to improve her appearance

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

Someone threw a cigarette at me today... What a fag.

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

Your wife died during the delivery.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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