a woman goes to an abortion clinic, kills a baby and still leaves pregnant.

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How did Mary fall off the swing? She got hit by a fridge.

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What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

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What did the teacher do? He taught.

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Why do gingers have red hair? Its genetically encoded in their DNA

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only one and it is politically incorrect to assume otherwise.

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Like to tell patrick porcupine to stop gaming

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Yo mammas so stupid she has a profound intellectual disability.

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What's Kanye West's main goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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What's worst than a holocaust 2 holocaust's

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I am couler-blind, and poetry is gay

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Why did the woman cross the road? Trick question, she didn't because she was in the kitchen.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I want to have sex But no one else wants to

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There is no "I" in "TEAM" However, there is a "T" an "E" an "A" and an "M"

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Your moms so stupid that she called me to get my number

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My friend was driving me home from a party, and was quite drunk. I was relieved that we did not get into a car crash.

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What do watermelons taste like? Sand.

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Excuse me, I have a shitload of stuff to do, so you are Eliza huh? I thought that was just one person conveying something to someone. Anyway, what is your name? My name is actually Nero, but you do not strike me as an Eliza, first name is more than enough. You know, if you dare, Ill be back shortly, I was gonna shower but then again, I haven't moved at all today, so yeah. Saved you? I have never saved anyone well, excuse me then, see you around, worry less about people bothering with us chatting, hell they might risk learning something (not a chance, people here are fucking jackasses, with one exception, and I do not mean me this time).

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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how did the family die? They were shot in the head.

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Q:Whats Brown and sticky? A:Maple Syrup

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A apple is red a banana is to never mind that joke sucks

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Question: So, what do you get if you put a live dog, a dead cat, some sugarcubes, and your sisters panties (HORMONES OKAY? EVERYBODY KNOWS HORMONES EQUALS SPICE! Or something anyways...) In a blender until its all red and squishy? The hell I know, but put some Redbull in it, and its fucking delicious!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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