An Admiral walks into Ackbar...

thumb_up thumb_down +25

In Soviet Russia, you have no rights!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what do u call a apple a apple

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats the difference between a nigro and a nigro... They are both BLACK!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you make a mailman cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

yo mama is so dumb, she got all Fs on her report

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: Why did the Unicorn cross the road? A: It didn't Unicorns are fictional creatures.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

So a man walks into a bar… and gets a bad bruise and a big bump.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse than tornadoes in the USA? Earthquakes in Japan.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse than dying in the holocaust Dying on the last day of the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running away from KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A young blonde walks into a bar and orders a shot of tequila. After about a few minutes she spots this very ugly man with one leg. The man just so happens to sit right next to her and orders a drink. The man reeks of cockroaches and he looks like a homeless man that hasn't bathed in months. They never talk and the blonde goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: Why doesn't the young lady speak very much? A: Because she's a whore

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you get a kid to shut up? You ducttape his mouth,legs, and arms and throw him in a pit

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Did you here about the Asian couple who had a stupid baby? They named him Sum Ting Wong

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops