Q: What do sleeping pills and coffee have in common? A: Absolutely nothing

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We are few Nero, too few, if I want to split my money with you, would it help you find true happiness?

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What do a fish, a can of asparagus, a spool of thread, and a car tire have in common? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a cage being carried by a farmer.

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Dakota Fanning

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I am white, you are black, we can be friends, racism was abolished.

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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What did the strawberry say to the strawberry? Nothing because strawberries are fruit and can't talk

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because the light was red and cars had stopped.

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

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What is the difference between Chuck Norris and a frog one wears pants and the Chuck Norris doesn't.

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Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

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Why was the family sad? Their house burnt down.

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I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

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What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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Why did chuck norris die Brain tumor

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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How do you stuff a giraffe into a refrigerator? You can't, giraffes are too big.

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If a tree falls down in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does God exist?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops