One man walks on a bridge, another man sees him but doesn't really care about him.

When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

Asian women drivers...

What did the little black boy get for Christmas? Hopefully something nice.

What do you call a Mentally Challenged Black Man? Whatever Name his parent(s) Gave him at birth.

Why are anti jokes not funny.... Because they make sense.

Q. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

A chicken walked into the bar...

what's worse, ten babies stapled to a tree or one baby stapled to ten trees?

Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red... That depends in how hard you throw them.

Why does Beyonce sing "to the left, to the left"? Because that's where a box of everything you own is

Why do black people eat Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because there is Protein in chicken and without protein their bodies would succumb to such diseases as Kwashiorkor and Cachexia.

Roses are red. Violets are purple

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

knock, knock Who's there? A social worker, we are taking your children into costody because your wife has reported you to the police for molesting them.

Why did the chicken croos the road? He was battling severe depression at the time. His alcoholism was tearing his family apart, he was declining in job performance and his boss threatened to fire him several times. I guess at that point he just decided to end it all. It was horribly tragic, policemen knocking on the door of his wife's chicken roost and informing her of the bad news. As soon as she heard, she rushed to the scene, only to see his mangled body spread across the street, intestines falling out. They held a closed casket funeral. Formal, all black. It was raining by the time the casket was brought to the cemetery to be buried. She hasn't stopped crying since. His children ask her, where's dad, but all she can do is weep. Suicide is bad, kids

A black man and his mexican friend walk into a bar. The black man orders a drink and the mexican gets soda. He is the designated driver

why cant stevie wonder read? because hes black

A blonde, a brunette and a red head are having a discussion on current issues. The brunette says she would like to see improvements in the environment. The red head says she would like to see the economy prosper. The blonde says she has to take a poop.

how do you find a ghost? shoot yourself.

"is it just me or is it getting really hot in here?" "the house is on fire and we are locked in"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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