COME HERE, POTTER!!!! NOW!!! Instead of agreeing to approach the source of the rather hostile summoning, Potter decided to sit down and eat a healthy vegetarian lunch of sausages and chips.

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what is purple and fly? - a purple flying.

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How many turrets patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? Cocksucker!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road. It's head was cut off and it didn't know where it was

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that's just been shot.

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Q: What do you call a white man with 5 black men? A: A friendly white man. Q: What do you call a white man with a hundred black man? A: A tourist in Kenya.

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"New season of Dr.Phil. How does that make you feel?" ANGERY!!!!!

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Your mama's so skinny; she can fit into most swimsuits sizes 4-6 and has a rather petite bottom.

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Why Lilly fell out of a cradle ? She had no arms.

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I have 13 hedge hogs in one hand and 4 pineapples in my van how many pikelets does it take to cover the roof. Purple because aliens dont wear hats.

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George Bush, a little boy, and his grandfather are on an airplane with a failing engine. They have only two parachutes to save themselves. The plane crashes and they all die.

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How can you tell if someone's a Vegan? It will probably come up in conversation, usually during the planning phase of a trip to a restaurant.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by jimmy savile.

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What's better than being raped by a donkey? Pie.

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So Nero, seriously, don't be mean, call me, I am going to bed now, nighty nite.

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What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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whats brown and half eaten? yeah an easter egg that a parent has given to there son/daughter before dinner

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Why did the black man have blood on his hands? He was a surgeon

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my wife came out of the kitchen....

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What happens when Chuck Norris jumps in the air? He lands.

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Why are New Yorkers hated on so much? Becuase the Yankees suck ass.

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the bible

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Whats the saddest part about the sandy hook shooting? There were still bullets in the clip... Im going to hell by the way.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? No one knows, he didn't leave a note.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops