Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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how many jews can you fit in a volkswagon? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 6 million in the ash trey.

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whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket.

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There were 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They all had different colors of hair because hair color varies depending on genetics.

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Why do Asian men love noodles? Noodles are delicious!

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Why did the elephant cross the road? I don't know

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Pete and repeat are in a boat. Pete kills him self due chronic depression. Repeat laughs his ass off

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Q: How do Hellen Keller's parents punish her? A: They give her a timeout

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Knock Knock. Who`s there? Hadooouuuuuuu! Hadou who? KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN! PERFECT!!! Perfect Bonus: 38493483948394839483984 Skill 0000000 Your life 0 Bonus 9001

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Yo mama is so fat that her belly button reaches the door 15 minutes before she does- by Adam Chebali

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A mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man. The mexican got his arms shot off in the war and is severely paralyzed. God Bless our troops. Thank you for serving us.

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What did Mel Gibson say to his wife? I apologise for my rude behaviour and intolorable cursing.

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Why dont black people go on cruise ships Theyre not falling for that one again

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Tommy got neutered.

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What you do you call a gay man with no arms and legs? His name.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Bill Walters from across the street. How are we talking through a door?

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Why did the black man commit suicide last tuesday? he was just fired from his job, his sister passed away, and he became depressed

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Why did the little hamster die? Because it had a careless owner who never paid any attention to it. therefor it passed away.

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there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

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What's hanging by a rope from the tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

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Why doesn't God answer prayers? God does answer prayers, but He does not want you to have everything you want just by asking it, He wants you to work for what you have, everything happens for a reason. ... Nah, it's because God does not exist.

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What has four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill someone? A pool table.

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what did mickee utley say to micheal bane cnb

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Steve jumps through a window...he forgot he was on the 231st floor...He dies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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