What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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why didnt the little boy say goodbye to his mom because he got hit by a bus

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I used to be an adventurer like you. But then I retired and started a family.

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What do you call a man who tripped on a rock? A man who tripped on a rock.

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A Penn State administrator walks in to a butt.

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Beka has AIDS

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Who has no penis Religious Believers

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" Whats the deal with airline food? " -Sharon

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I walks over to da shop de oother day and there was this guy and he was like... I bought some petrol. LOoooooooooL

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Why wasn't Abraham Lincoln a good president? Because he got shot in the head and died.

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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Turkey Balls

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What's tall black and has curly hair? A black guy

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People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

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if 5+5=10 then 7+9=52

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ada! Ada who? Ada burger for lunch!

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What does water smell like? water.

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What do dogs and whales have in common? They both live in the ocean. Apart from the dog.

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Why do babies have soft spots? The skull of a baby is made up of skull bones, and in the places where the bones meet there are soft spots made up of a strong cartilage to allow the skull to grow with the baby's brain.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Woman + Kitchen = sandwich

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if my evil next door neighbor is building a rocket to steal the moon with the help of 3 little girls, a grumpy old man and about 5000 small yellow poeple; what do i do? get sued for coping a copyrighted movie plot

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Why did the sperm swim back? cos he realised that he was in someones anus!

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what did the dog say to the mailman? woof.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops