So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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What is both bold and brash? Fox

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What smells like old people and is white? Talcum Powder.

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Beached whale: "Look at me, I'm a land mammal"

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Girl look at that body, girl look at that body, I got passion in my pants... Actually I lied, I got a penis and testicles in my pants, but I'm afraid to show it because people might think it's small, sorry

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What did the boy dog say to the girl dog? Ruff

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (knocker runs for life).

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Kys

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Yo momma so pretty,she gets a lot of compliments.

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Why does the man ignore his wife? Because he is dead.

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Why did little Timmy fall down? Because he was shot in the head.

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W. If I was one thing other then a person why would I be? M. The sun. W. Aww, so I brighten your day? M. No, you're just hard to look at.

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so a moose walks into a super market and asked the lady where can I find the potatoes the lady says isle five so the moose goes to isle five and there aint no potatoes.

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What can fly? Lots of things

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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I once had my heart broken by my first true love. I then died, she was convicted of murder and my family grieved over my death.

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Q: How do you make Helen Keller cry? A: Casually remind her that she is both blind and deaf.

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hi i'm a dick, i mean mitt romney

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SQUID DOMINATION!!! Squids WILL Take Over the World!!!

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A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

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i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

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Why did Moses part the sea Because it was divisible by 2

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If Oscar Meyer had a dog, what breed would it be? A golden retriever.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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