why did the boy drop his ice cream? he had no hands

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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Q: What do you call a dad running down a hill? A: A mom running down a hill, I lied about the dad.

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why did the geman man hit the jewish man? because the jewish man swung a punch at the german man so it was an act of self defense.

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Q: What do dogs and wind have in common? A: They're both blue. Except the dog. Or the wind. Wind is colorless.

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How do you kill a turtle? You can't, it has a shell for a reason.

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What do you call a polar bear in the desert? Bobby Marksson.

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Whats worse than getting a parking ticket? The Bubonic Plague

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What has four legs, yet it can't walk? A dead horse.

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Why is Ellen Degeneres gay? Because she likes the same sex

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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Beached whale: "Look at me, I'm a land mammal"

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whatt dont w do you call a person with legs that dont work Crippled

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i got 99 problems.... and aids is one

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I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

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just in time?

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in soviet russia, cow milks you

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Mom: what does IDK, LY, and TTYL mean? Son: I don't know, love you, and talk to you later. Mom: OK, I'll ask your sister.

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Did you hear about my new Muslim friend? Hes the bomb!

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What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

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A group of young men walks into a bar. They drink some booze, laugh, have a great time and then go home to sleep.

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! In for a penny, in for a pound. I'm Donald Trump!

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Why did the Liberal tell the truth? If one ever does we will have the answer.

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"You know what sucks?" "Vaccuumes?" "You know what metaforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "You know what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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