Why did the teacher ask her student about the test? Because she was in the hospital the day of the test because her husband was hit by a rail road spike and died but she was so devoted to her job she wanted to know.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Kindly ask him to come down.

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Justin Bieber.

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A blond Canadian and his Korean friend are going together to Korea. When checking in the person asks the Canadian if he has a return ticket leaving the country. He replies yes but he does not have it on him. According to Korean Customs and Immigration laws a non-Korean citizen must have a return ticket to enter the country. Inevitably follows a long and tedious process in order to procure the ticket in order to pass customs. The Korean and the Canadian continue to their boarding gate.

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A man is sitting on a park bench crying. A blonde walks by and asks him why he's sad. The man proceeds to explain he just lost his children in a custody battle with his ex wife.

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Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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Why couldn't the little girl see in the dark? She had no eyes.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Jim. Jim who? Jim your cousin. Kathy then let Jim inside her house and helped him carry the pizza boxes into the kitchen. Everyone had fun and enjoyed the party very much that night.

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Why is meth so addicting? Why? Hang on, i gotta go do some meth

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Why did the kid trip over the rock? Because he was diagnosed with serious autism, and might die soon.

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Yo mama is so fat when she went to the fat contest they said SORRY no pros alowed

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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how did the girl die? she read all of your terrible anti-jokes.

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what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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What's small, pale blue and sits at the bottom of the pool? "An over ripe blueberry."

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An Irishman, a German, a Jew, and a Mexican walk into a bar...... the Irishman is named designated driver and all four have a safe and enjoyable evening.

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When I grow up, I don't want to be a therapist. I have enough trouble figuring out the problems in my math book.

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Why did the police officer pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

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What is the proper response when someone says "My family died in a car crash"? Lol fail

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Why did the Japanese man fall down the stairs? He was blind and deaf and not aware of his surroundings to prevent himself from doing so.

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How would I re-arrange the alphabet? I would place P in your butt...

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What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 800 pounds

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What do you think when you see an asian woman behind the wheel of a car? She's very attractive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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