Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why the West African Rhino is extinct? They were never Horny

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats the difference between eating an egg and an abortion? Think about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Boy: Hey girl see these arms? They are just dying to be wrapped around you! She stabs him dead End of story

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man breaks into your house points a gun at your head and proceeds to fire a blank... The man stares at your for another minute before jumping back out of the window he crawled in from and sitting on the curb outside your house rethinking his life choices.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did squidward do when SpongeBob asked him to be his friend on Facebook? 1.declined it 2.got a restraining order against him 3.wondered how computer generated cartoon characters could send and decline friend requests

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: Whats the difference between a pile of dead babys and a Ferrari? A: I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

2 drunk men walk out of a bar, they see a dog on the corner licking himself. One drunk says "man, I wish I could do that" The other drunk says "you might want to pet him first"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

roses are red leather is black when god made you he was smoking crack

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person if the Jewish religion and a pizza is a type of food.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

3 men are walking down a dirt path. One is a retired member of the US Air Force. The other of the Marines. The last one of the Navy. They are arguing about why their respective section of the military is the best. They lose track of where they're going and fall off of a cliff onto the spinning propeller of a US Coast Guard helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the duck cross the road? Hurricane Katrina

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's for dinner tonight? Your mom's vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven? She was paralyzed.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

phone and phone charger were talking to each other suddenly a massive hand swopped down to the charger and another hand came down and grabbed the phone they both started screeming so the hand stabbed the phone with the phone charger so the phone said... ALL I DID WAS SCREEM (RANDOMZZZ) (L.W)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you confuse a blonde? Hit her over the head with a baseball bat until she has concussion

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? were both lawyer's.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops