A man was driving and texting at the same time and when he was not looking a car passed him on the other side of the road. The man driving the car that passed the man was talking on the phone. When the man txting looked up and look back and said thank god thats not me talking i could of crashed if i was him

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what starts with F and ends with ead? Fred was walking to school one day when he heard a strange noise in a tree. He walked up to the tree, looked up, and saw a cat. Fred was late for class, so he decided to go to school and help the cat out after school. Eight hours later, Fred came up to the tree and looked up to see if the cat was there. It wasn't. The cat was lying next to the tree, dead.

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I read my Uncle an anti-joke. He is still wondering why it made no sense to him.

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whats funner than nailing a baby to a wall, ripping it off

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A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didnt

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What happened to the house that was made without concrete? It fell over.

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Why was Timmy late for class? He got hit by a bus. Why was Jimmy late for class? He saw Timmy lying in the middle of the street, went out to help and got hit by another bus.

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How do you approach a hot guy in the library? Very quietly.

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What's the warmest organ in a dead baby's body? My penis

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Wanna hear a funny anti joke?...........................................................................................Funny anti joke

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber...

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roses are red. vilets are blue. I'm getting hungry. make me some food...bitch.

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Why did the Black man buy some slaves? They were his family

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What looks like a lion, sounds like a lion, and feels like a lion? A lion Ba dum chh

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? the redneck got to him first.

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What group of people do the police target? Criminals.

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How do you say cabbage in Spanish? You don't.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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How many Pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1. and "pollack" is a derogatory term that could be fond offensive to some people.

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Roses are gray, violets are gray. I'm color blind.

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Why can't Emily swing because she has no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Emily

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why did the mokey fall out of the tree because it was dead.

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How did the jew win a marathon? Through hard vigorous training by running everyday and eating healthy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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