Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had just received a call from his family, hearing that his father had just been butchered. He was approaching the farm when an 18-wheeler approached. The tire flew off, hit a candy store, candy flew in the chicken's mouth, and it died of diabetes. However, right before the chicken died he finally crossed the road, not knowing he would get shot by his farmer. The chicken managed to survive the shooting to his right kidney, wiggled to his family, and died in front of his wife.

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roses are blue violets are green I am colorblind

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Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

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Q)why couldn't the baby talk? A)the baby was dead.

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That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your dog pooped on my lawn Now my violets are even more blue

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Four guys are on an airplane. The plane lands safely and the four guys return to their families.

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What's the difference between camping and molestation? I wasn't taken camping as a child

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a. johns friend said your a towel b. rick replied im obivously not a towel and walked away in discust at his friends stupidity.

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Why did the girl take a shower? Because she was dirty

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your momma is so poor that she is on welfare.

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Did you hear what happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in spring training.

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What do two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because it is very difficult for someone with a vision impairment to operate a vehicle.

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what do you call a a miget crossed with a vampire? A miget, vampires are a figment of you're screwed up imagination.

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How I seem math word problems Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara desert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

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Friends are like snowflakes, they go away when you pee on them.

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Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

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i have a christmas tree.

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What's redder than a red apple? 2 red apples

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Why did Larry the Cable Guy say "Git R Dun"? Because he thought it was funny, and so did a bunch of other people for some reason.

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Knock Knock I have a door bell It's broken Oh

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Yo mamma is so fat, that she's going on a diet and is exercising regularly to lose wait.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops