How do you stuff a giraffe into a refrigerator? You can't, giraffes are too big.

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What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

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Where did the guy who shot his neighbor go? Jail, because he was caught, sent to court, and was convicted of murder.

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Two nerds walk into a bar. The effects of alcohol do not discriminate based upon the social status of said consumer.

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Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Therefore, I am a potato.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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What's brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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A man in a wheelchair walked into a bar. No he didn't.

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Yo momma's so black, when yo poppa rides her, he says "Look! I'm Hiccup!"

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how do you call a big red creature eating rocks? the big red rock eating creature.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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saftey torch you can out it on the porch. saftey torch put it in the hallway. saftey torch scare the monsters away. saftey torch that'll be 50 bucks.

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Hi i love black men so much and i am a jewish faggot bye

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punchline below punchline above

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Why did the black man scream in church? He felt like it.

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"The only thing worse than being talked about is getting AIDS." -Oscar Wilde

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Man: Doctor, everything I touch hurts. Doctor: Okay. Let's test it out by first touching your leg. Man: It hurts. Doctor: What about your arm? Man: It hurts as much. Doctor: What about your back? Man: It still hurts. Doctor: I see......your fingers are broken.

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God is like semen. They're both nouns.

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Q: What did the schizophrenic man say to his father? A: "Every time grandmother's urn shrieks, this pornography turns to black ink."

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What's black white and red all over A Nun after being pushed down the stairs

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What's red and can't speak ? A strawberry

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Q. Whats does the kid and the dog have in common? A. The kid has Herpes.

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As they went down the hill Jack tripped on a rock, falling breaking many bones including his neck. In all the hysteria, Jill fell too, however she landed on a rock and now has severe dementia. This was all for a pail of water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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