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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

What's black and white and red all over? A nun that was stabbed to death.

Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

What did the man do with his cat? he threw it in the garbage because he didn't like it

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

Christians pornstars.

What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

Why was the old man lying on the floor? He had a heart attack and died

How to you stop the world from ending? You dont the world has been destroyed 5 times over again before and it will most likely happen to us one day.

Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

Q: What's funny about a gay man being raped by men for being gay? A: The man's personality

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

your mom gave me head.....phones

What's red, white, and blue? light purple

Why did a white man get kicked out of the Olympics 2012¿ Because he did not have down syndrome

What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

Whats the same about a jew and firewood? They both burn.

Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

If a plane crashes on the boarder of Canada and The U.S.A- Where would they burry the survivors.

Yo mama got so bad teeth her dentist said she should get them surgicly removed and get lifelike dentures

whats black and hangs from my tree my neighbor

Women drivers...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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