why did the mokey fall out of the tree because it was dead.

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How did the jew win a marathon? Through hard vigorous training by running everyday and eating healthy.

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Why didnt the cannibal like the taste of the comedian? because the comedian smelled very bad and the cannibal forgot to add salt.

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What's johnny's favorite bedtime story? The sound of the subway. Johnny and his father are homeless and can't afford bedtime stories

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How do you kill Chuck Norris. Shoot him in the face

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Q: What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? A: A set of Legos

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How many squirrels does it take to drive a refrigerator 10 quarts per elephant? Vanilla Cake

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Knock knock whos there Ewan Gudgeon *Shoots Himself cause cannot live with hearing tht name*

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what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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Why did the man fall on the floor? He had a heart attack.

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I'm going as the joker for halloween

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What? Yes.

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Q: How many nuns does it take to eat a dead racoon? A: 2

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I would piss if alex berry had aids n died

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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whats not funny and has access to a computer and reasonable internet? Me

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Why did Little Jimmy cross the road? Little Jimmy doesnt have arms and legs, silly, he cant cross the road.

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Two fish are sitting in a tank. One says, "I'll man the guns. You drive."

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Roses are red Grass is green Get in the van If you know what I mean

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Where was the declaration of independes? At the bottom

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whats worse than find a worm in your apple? finding the holocaust in your apple.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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Wheres my hood? Behind your neck.

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What do you do with a leg less dog? Take him for a drag.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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