So, there was two monkeys sitting in a bath tub one says "Hey, could you pass the soap?" the other says "what do I look like a typewriter?"

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what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

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Why did the cow cross the road? The slaughter yard was on the other side!

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Why are old people such terrible drivers? As we age, our eyesight slowly deteriorates and our reflexes become slower. So, in order to be cautious, the elderly avoid high speed chases and such to maintain their and others safety. Or they could have alzheimers and not realize they are in a moving vehicle at all, it's really a tossup

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Seven people walk into the same bar, like a solid pole. Ouch!

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AntiJoke will not let me type this so I will add some spaces. N I G G E R.

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Hi my names Sarah and I love baby's. I don't think I could eat a whole one though

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teacher: what do you call a math book with no writing in it?! student: idk what? teacher: a notebook! student: ok... thanks

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How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer? If you're lucky some of his or hair will have fallen out and be left on the keyboard as evidence.

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what smells like tuna? my underwear

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A lawyer gets admitted to a bar.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Meals on wheels - eat up!

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What's white, warm, and dangerous? Cum.

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what did the cat say to the monkey meow then he got hit by a car

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she is legally blind

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What ended the black family's picnic? Rain.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's white and sticky? A stick painted white.

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Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

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What do you call two banana's on someone's feet? Garbage.

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why do woman love the twilight books? i have no idea woman can't read

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Life gave me onions. Onionaide Sucks

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whats 2+2? math.

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Yo momma's so bulimic, and there's nothing funny about it at all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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