Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can walk wherever the hell they want. Leave them alone.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple

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How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!

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Knock knock whos there telephone telephone who telephone refiridgerator

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Q: How do you know your gay? A: When you have unexpected desires for men, which is a sin to a religion, so the choice of being gay is against the bible and you would soon be sent to the pit of fire we call hell.

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What sound did the man make? Splatt. He fell off a building.

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You need to trim these evergreens. Either they are getting low our my van is GROWING!

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You look like Susan Boyle f**ked Snooki and then got hit by a truck.

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Moral: Sure, your number is the one that ends with 853 right? Do not reply if I am right. Moral2: BECAUSE TOP COMMENT... AND SERIOUSLY, THAT NUMBER BETTER END WITH 69 AFTER I CALL YOU! DO NOT REPLY

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Knock Knock Whos there? Your mom My mom died three years ago, please go away while i cry.

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way do Japan bomb pearl harbor because America hat sex with China [watch Hetalia]

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Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

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Why did Lucy fall out of the tree? Because she sting by a wasp.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, it got stuck at a red light, it waited 5 minutes before getting frustrated and leaving. Later that day the chicken realized that it had forgotten to press the button.

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A man gets kicked in the testicles... Ow

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What do you call a moose with a 42 gauge shotgun pellet through its head? Open Season

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THE GAME

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You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

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I DO NOT CARE ABOUT NOVA! MY NAME IS VIKTOR REZNOV! AND I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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What happened to the man who ate a piece of pizza after doing a lot of sit ups, while rubbing the belly of a fat man, and feeding his baby at the same time? He Lived

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops