what is red and can grow hair water i lied about it growing hair and that it is red

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A girl walks into a supermarket. She picks up a banana, a can of soup, and a loaf of bread. She then walks up to the cash register to pay. The cashier looks at her and the items she has and says, "I can tell you're single." She smiles and responds, "How do you know that?" He says, "Because you're ugly."

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Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

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Q: What's Funnier than a baby spinning around a pole at 300 MPH? A: Stopping it with a shovel.

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If Voldemort was gay who would be his partner? Happy potter

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You know who can't stand to put up with my shit? Polio victims.

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What's worse than having to watch your dad rape your mom? Having to watch your mom rape your dad.

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How long did the Hundred Years' War last? 116 years.

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An Englishman walks into a bar.

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Q: Hey, wanna hear a joke? A: Sure! Q: Alright, cool. *leaves*

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What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

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Why don't Vikings read the New York Times? Because they all died centuries ago. And none of them live in New York.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because crossing through traffic is very dangerous

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What was the last song those aboard the Titanic sang? "Staying alive"

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where did my tractor go.

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How do you make Bill Gates poor? You take all of his money

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Knock Knock Who's there? The IRS. You've been convicted of tax evasion.

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Why was the Mexican sleeping? He wishes to decrease his risk of motor vehicle accidents.

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Bear walks into bar and says to eagle may I have a................... drink eagle says why the long pause hohahahohahahohaha

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Prostate exam > Some of these Anti Jokes

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What do get when you mix cancer and a bike? Lance Armstrong

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What did the boy say when he got hit by a car? Nothing, he punctured his lungs.

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what happened when the sports mascot ate a bean and cheese burrito? he shat inside his costume and got fired.

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What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A horrible boating accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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