Why am I telling you this joke? Because the person who did it before me mentioned that he enterted this, agreed to the Terms of Service and clicked submit - but missed out that he also typed in the capcha. Mine said: never quit.

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Why did the clock say 10:30? It was a digital clock!

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Know what's funny? Jokes.

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I slept through the Dark Knight movie....turns out I was pretty tired.

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How did Clumsy Clearance eat shit? He was in the Human Centipede.

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I used to be schizophrenic, but we're ok now.

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Wanna know what is gross? a dead baby in a dumpster. Grosser? Ten dead babies in a dumpster. Grosser? There is a live one at the bottom. Grosser? It ate its way out. Grosser? It came back for seconds.

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Why was the blonde staring at the bottle of orange juice? She was reading the nutrition facts, as she was trying to watch her weight.

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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Regarding the "I will violate you, your children and your parent if you thumb me red" comment belo. I had a green thumb, I know because I gave it to myself because I am awesome... Now I got none... I person that this this, I cannot wait to X-mas where I will be violating them all, tell them, and as thus remind you that this was their Christmas present from you... Your friendly r*pist neighborhood Moral Man: Yes, I am your neigbor... I cant wait for slot number 24 on my christmas calendar... There is a picture of you and your family... Yummy!

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What did the person say to the other person? "Hello."

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How do you throw a party in space? You planet!

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Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped in a van

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why does paul mccartney not wear shoes? cause a nigga stole it

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I was gonna make a joke about a my dick... Racecar

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What's similar between the Alabama Crimson Tide and a maggot? They've both been feeding off of a dead Bear for 30 years...

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A black guy and a hispanic guy walk into a bar they sit down and happily have a drink CHEESE ON TOAST

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Why didn't the vampire go to the Garlic festival? Because it sucks.

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Why was Martha put in a wheelchair? She was hit by a rabid cabbage.

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-Why didn't a girl cry after she fell down with her bike? -Because a handlebar pinned her lung.

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A guy walks into a bar and says "ouch!" The bartender says "are you okay?" "Yeah I just stubbed my toe" Then the guy walks it off, and then orders a drink.

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a white guy, a black guy, and a latino guy all walk into a bar. The white man explains how his family is in turmoil because of his alcholism, the black guy shares his affection for crack, and the latino man explains why he shouldnt be here due to illegal immigration. They all hate their lives. Quack

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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