Yo mama so old, she must take arthritus medicine to keep out of extreme pain.

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What do you call a Mad Cow? Dead. Pst, Mr.Cobb if your reading this- Hola.

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Whats the difference between garlic bread and a Jewish person? Garlic bread doesn't scream in the oven.

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Roses are red violets are blue you better run I see you

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Black guy something something. Anti-racist punchline.

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What did the homeless black guy write on his sign? need money for weed.

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What do you call a man in Afghanistan? Either a scuicide bomber a soldier or a tep

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A black guy and a hispanic guy walk into a bar they sit down and happily have a drink CHEESE ON TOAST

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A little boy who was sleeping in his parent's bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't. He said nothing, and the incident troubled him deeply for many years.

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How do you stop a baby crying? You don't. Just walk away.

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Why did Timmy fall off his swing? The Holocaust

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What did Harry Potters owl say to Harry Potter? delivowe for hawwy potter!

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Reading the Terms and Conditions

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Knock-Knock Who's there? We are, now open the door! Wait im masturbating!!

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A rooster lays an egg on the tip of a roof. Which side does it fall to? Roosters don't lay eggs

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A jellyfish walks into a bar, the bar doesnt appreciate him, so he retreats back to his jellyfish lands.

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What do you call a white guy with no friends? A white guy with no friends

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Two cannibals are eating a clown one turns to the other and asks "does this taste funny to you?" The other cannibal says " yeah because the clown has been dead for weeks."

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3 like an eel

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What do you call a moving tree? A hurricane killing thousands of people and 3 dogs.

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How did the polack burn his hands on the stove? He placed his hands on the hot stove top burners not realizing they were hot.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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Q: How long does it take to dig to China? A: 5 mins. I hire a bunch of mexicans

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My lady, that is the backside of trust, I have decided to trust you, how am I supposed to feel about the fact that I believe to the point where I know that you mean everything you are saying? And that if you had any interest in backstabbing me, I would be risking my life, wife and friends. Do you not get trust? If you keep thinking like that, tomorrow you could be suspecting the mailman for being a spy, I can, and could tell you that I will cut ties with my employees, but then I would have you not only to believe me, but to support me financially, I do not need much, in fact, I need you to trust me, and if you do not trust me, what does it matter if I quit? You could accuse me for typing books that alter the mind (all books do), you could accuse me of having killed Nero and taken over... The point is, if you cannot trust me, then I cannot help you with what you ask, and if that is a requirement for our friendship to persist, then you are not looking for a friend, but for a employee.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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