What's that Lassie? Timmy fell in the well again? And you couldn't care less because the stupid kid never looks where he's going?

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's a woman.

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Knock Knock I'm sorry but the new don't ask don't tell laws require me to not answer but do feel free to come in for some tea.

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Oh, no! There is a ginger jew within 2 meters of me!

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Why is the sky blue? As the light from our Sun shines into the atmosphere, most of the colors are able to reach the Earth’s surface uninterrupted. However, because blue light has a wavelength that is the same size as the particulates in the air, this light is scattered in every direction. This blue light bounces from particulate to particulate until it eventually reaches your eyes. For this reason, no matter what direction you look in the sky, it appears to be blue. This blue light originated with the Sun, was bounced around in the sky many times, and then eventually reached your eyes.

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Whats Barack Obama's favorite number ? 7

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Whats the worst way to find out your married. Hungover

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A nhiger walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand. "do you have any lemonade" the man said "no. we don't serve nhigers lemonade. but you can drink your own piss boy, thats home made.." the nhiger waddled away (waddle waddle) till the very next day. The nhiger walked up to the lemonade stand with a lawsuit file right in his hand and said "you are legally required to serve me lemonade" the man said "fu(k you nhiger go back to where you came go back to Africa it's full of aids" the nhiger said "goodbye".... i'm too lazy too finish this off so i'll spoil the ending, the nhiger was actually a smelly pakistanian, which was actually a dirty chi-nk in costume. let's just say lawsuits were filed but the lemonade stand owner had casey anthony's lawyer and in the end never had to serve fu-cking nhiger ,smelly pakies or dirty chin-ks again :) The End. Happily Ever After.

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What do you call a muffin with frosting? A cupcake

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an irishman gets on facebook...he has 7 friend request

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How did Matt stop the robbers? He called the police.

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what did the apple say to the peer... I taste better !!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And I hate Jewish people

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Why didn't the kid return home after school? He was having a sleep-over with a bunch of his friends. Who all died from a robbery.

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What is blue? The sky! Hahaha best joke to laught at with all of your buds hehehehehee

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In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

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two muffins are in a oven the one muffin says jee its hot in here and the other muffin says wow a talking muffin

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I have a friend named David. He then lost his ID, now we called him Dav

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Roses Are Blue I Have A Gun And Ill Sout You!

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children are much like potatoes. when you eat them, they die.

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A boy spelled the word "banana" wrong on a spelling test... Points were deducted.

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Q: What would George Washinton do if he was alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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