What did the walrus say to the Penguin. It said MAHHRGH. because walruses can't really talk

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead

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2 guys shot up a morgue..... 13 bodies remain dead.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Roast Beef is a solid and Pea Soup is a liquid

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Stranger at door: *Knock knock* Oliver Twist: Who's there? Stranger at door: Not your parents.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Who the f*** let out the chicken

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Whats the difference between 10 dead babies and 8 dead babies? 2 dead babies.

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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What did Electra give her Dad for his birthday? Head. That's why her name is Electra.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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why did the clown fall off the swing because he got shot in the face

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm Scizophrenic And so am I.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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The power of Mindfuck: What if you can only walk left when you are right? And if you can walk right when you are the only one left? What is left when everything is right? Moral: Create a right world by taking the left road? YOU PIECE OF FILTH!

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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Why did the horse stop running? His master beat him to death.

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what goes woof ? A dog.

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What's worse than getting a fly stuck up your nose? Been alone in a hospital room with Jimmy Saville.

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when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead

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whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

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Q. whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A. A jew is a human of the jewish religion, and a pizza is food.

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What is 1+4x : No i will not take my pants off!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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