What did the contestant say to the game show host? If I don't win I will arrange to kill your family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Worlds first anti joke.

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A lysdexic man tries to spell rentally metarded.

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this website even though its hilarious.

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old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers

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Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

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Q: What does a gay horse eat? A: Cheese

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a horse is a horse. of course of course....unless its a cow

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What do you call a person trying to rob a store with no arms? Peter Pan

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

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Why did the chicken cross the buffet table? To get to the other sides.

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(Insert joke here)

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? no eyed dear what do you call a dear with no head? dead!

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How do you get a blonde out of a tree? Shoot her in the head.

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How many Jews can you fit in the car? 4 in the seats and 6 million in the ashtray.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? There's twenty of them

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NEVER

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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Mary had a little lamb, its heart was black as coal, it crept into her room one night and ate her f***ing soul

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okay so one time my dog was eating an octopus tail and i was all like...Bro! octopus are our friends dont eat them! then he was all like okay...so later i saw my goldfish eating a blue kangaroo and i was all like bro blue kangaroos are our friends dont eat them and she was all like okay.. so then i saw my sandwich eating itself and i was like bro...let me eat you instead! and it was like okay. then i saw a bear eating you so i was like bro....thats all i said before it ate both of us :( and thats the story of why i have 6 toes on my left buttcheek

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Why do the children cry at dinner time? Becuase there mother forces them to eat her own faeces and takes pictures of them doing it and posts it on the internet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops