How do u kill somebody You throw a fridge at him

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Q:How do u kill a butcher A: Kill its family

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How do the american stop getting fat ? They don't.

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A fish swims up your penis...

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How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

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Why was the curious black guy a good Lumberjack? He was always axin'.

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"My, what big teeth you have!" exclaimed Little Red Riding Hood. "Because I'm a wolf," explained the wolf. "And I dress in women's clothing because it makes me happier."

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What did Dave tell me on Tuesday? "It's Wednesday, dumbass."

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" "It's Mr. Johnson, your next door neighbor." "Come on in."

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Q: What do you call a black guy with his degree in dentistry? A: Doctor

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Why did the kid with no legs fall down the stairs? Because his dad pushed him...

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whats uglyand cry , and screams mommy ... you after i bitch slap you

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Why was a woman crying in a corner of a room She was raped

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Yo momma so fat that they've diagnosed her with type 2 diabetes and she has an extremely elevated risk of heart disease. You should really encourage her to try and eat better and get more exercise.

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what cuts the grass on christmas eve and lives in mexico? JP I lied about Mexico jackin it in san diego

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a truck.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Once upon a time, there was a ghost. The ghost was sneaking up on a little girl when she turned around and asked the ghost "Are you a stalker or something?" The ghost, unable to reply (being a ghost) was then kicked in the shins. The End!

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 was having illicit sexual relationships with 9, of which 6 knew about, but was afraid to inform his wife, 8, who 7 stepped over to get to 9.

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Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged and the final couple was newlywed. Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that, it was no problem. The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint. "Can of PAINT!" exclaimed the minister. "Yeah," said the newlywed man. "She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lust took over." The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church. "That's okay," said the man. "We're not welcome in Home Depot either."

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A man is sitting on his couch. The lights go out and his TV begins to float away. He breaks down into tears believing he has been cursed for a crime he commited earlier.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the farmer let him out, and he found a road to cross!

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How do you say a bad word in your language? Like this: "A bad word in your language"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops