Chuck Norris counted to infinity; by calculating the sum of a divergent series.

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A: What did the orphan get for christmas? Q: Nothing she doesn't have any parents

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what do you call a cat that looks like a lion 7

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Where did the guy who shot his neighbor go? Jail, because he was caught, sent to court, and was convicted of murder.

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How do you stuff a giraffe into a refrigerator? You can't, giraffes are too big.

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How do you scare a black man? Burn his house down.

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What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

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What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

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roses are red violets are blue if u wanna fight call 111 ( we r in new zealand)

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Therefore, I am a potato.

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A man in a wheelchair walked into a bar. No he didn't.

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Yo momma's so black, when yo poppa rides her, he says "Look! I'm Hiccup!"

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What's brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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how do you call a big red creature eating rocks? the big red rock eating creature.

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Two nerds walk into a bar. The effects of alcohol do not discriminate based upon the social status of said consumer.

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punchline below punchline above

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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saftey torch you can out it on the porch. saftey torch put it in the hallway. saftey torch scare the monsters away. saftey torch that'll be 50 bucks.

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Hi i love black men so much and i am a jewish faggot bye

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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"The only thing worse than being talked about is getting AIDS." -Oscar Wilde

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Man: Doctor, everything I touch hurts. Doctor: Okay. Let's test it out by first touching your leg. Man: It hurts. Doctor: What about your arm? Man: It hurts as much. Doctor: What about your back? Man: It still hurts. Doctor: I see......your fingers are broken.

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God is like semen. They're both nouns.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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