so...um, yeah

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hello

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Tommy got neutered.

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When life gives you ponies... get a new life!

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

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What did the rabbi say at the party? Mazel Tov.

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Why did the pedophile skip breakfast? He said that he would grab a little something on the way to work...

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocausts.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I lost The Game, You just did too.

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Dave:Hi Mark:Hi

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Why did Justin Bieber bieber his bieber? Because Bieber biebers his bieber when his bieber need a bieber bieber. BIEBER

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What did the Homeless man get for Christmas? A dollar

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Girl you must be Jamaican...because you're black and annoying.

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What does Mr. Newell have? - Diabetes. Mr. Newell has diabetes.

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Yeah I was beginning to enjoy that as well, but I used "timed hypnosis" I have not seen it been coined elsewhere yet, not that I learn hypnosis anymore, I kinda teach it covertly to whoever I believe can use it responsively. "Timed hypnosis" is not really based upon a set amount of time after all time is relative, and our subconcious does know that and the subconcius understands that we did not invent time just because we made some fucking dials spin around" Now, timed hypnosis is based on a purpose, for example: "I will go into a trance until I am done teaching my new buddy how covert hypnosis works and teach her to use it subconciously" But now I made you aware of that, so you can use it consciously as well, the real magic here is that the subconcious is so much more efficient and powerful than the conscious mind that it would not even be neccesary to have a concious mind, except for one thing.

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You say: Why did the chicken cross the road? Response: Why? (or some other answer to a different joke) You say: To get to your house! Knock, knock. Response: Who's there? You say: The CHICKEN!!!!

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you cant spell slaughter withought laughter

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Q: whats worse than finding a worm in your apple A: the holocaust

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Q:How do you confuse a blonde preschooler? A:Calculus.

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How do you make a tissue dance? Tissues are inanimate objects, they cannot dance and thinking otherwise is foolish.

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Women's Rights

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What did the dog say to his own poop? You gonna eat that?

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Knock knock Who's there? *silence* WHO'S THERE? *silence* -Looks out window- Slenderman

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A blind duck walks under a coffee table. Luckily, it was shorter that the table, walked underneath, and continued unharmed. Then it was eaten by a cat it couldn't see.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops