Why don't Vikings read the New York Times? Because they all died centuries ago. And none of them live in New York.

A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

Why was the curious black guy a good Lumberjack? He was always axin'.

a group of mormons walk into a bar... just kidding mormons aren't aloud to drink.

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

these are shit

What did little Timmy get for Christmas? Abandoned

Son: Mommy, Mommy can i have a cookie! Mom:Sure Honey there on the top shelf Son:But mommy i have no arms Mom:No arms, No cookies

Whats the difference between a loser and a winner there places

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I workout, Don't mess with me.

A girl accidentally clicks on an advertisement while on anti-jokes.com, the girl silently curses and quickly presses the back button.

People spending hours typing nothing but cus words? Who does that?

Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.

Your mom is so fat she could consider going on biggest loser, where she might be able to make a lot of money.

When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

What is a kangaroos favorite desert? The outback

How do you get someone to shut up? Shove a fork down their throat and hang them by thier thumbs

What did the Jew do before the movie? He turned off his cell phone.

What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby wearing a clown suit.

Why did the girl get run over by a bus? The bus driver was blind.

Q:why did i cross the road A: time to get a watch

what is orange and blue 2 colors

What is white And taste like sheep A sheep

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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