Terry was always struggling with mathematics. On his last report card he received a D- in math. His parents were naturally very upset with him because they knew their son could do much better and so did Terry. Terry wanted to make his parents proud so he buckled down and started studying on a regular basis. Terry realized his had work had payed off when his 3rd grade teacher handed him his report card. Terry had revived an A in math! On his walk home from school all he could think about was how proud his mom and dad were going to be. On that walk home Terry was savagely torn apart by an escaped lion from the local zoo. His head was never found.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What do you call a Polish astronomer? A: Copernicus.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, violets are blue, I am a bitch, and so are you!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A black guy wearing a mask runs into a store, points his gun at the cashier, steals some money and runs out. The police start an investigation the following morning

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What kind of drug did the cops catch the alligator with? None. They were going to use a tranquiliser dart, but SPCA intervened and simply held the alligator's mouth shut while they loaded it into a secure cage.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Want to hear a dirty joke? Well... I can't tell you. It's inapropriate.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A spatial closet situates trolls beside the whistle.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock Who's there? The FBI. We need to check your house for dead bodies.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the boy have no ankles? Because his legs were amputated

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do humans and trees have in common? -If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they fal down

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two men walk into a bar, one ducks

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Me Me, who? -You -You? but I thought you were me. - I am you, you're looking in the mirror, asshole. - No, sir i'm sorry you have the wrong house. Asshole doesn't live here.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What do you call black guys running down a hill? A: Black guys running down a hill.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If you're American outside of the bathroom, then what are you inside the bathroom? An American inside of a bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did a black person beat a white person in a race? The white person was hindered because a polar bear was biting their leg the entire time.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The 80's called. They need their couch back.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Yo momma's so fat that all the children within a close proximity of your home think that your mother is a very large woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

"hey woody can i ask you a question" "sure buzz" "why is it your name is woody but they use me as a vibrator"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops