Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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Holocaust jokes are not funny. And I don't see the humor behind them.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Q: Why do circles make such good friends? A: They don't. They're shapes and there cannot have friends

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I have a horse.

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Pigs have the emotional capacity of a five year old think about that next time you have to dissect one in biology

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when nothing goes right go left because if you go straight you will fall off the cliff

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes Wtf?

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Dave: Heyy Steve! Steve: Oh heyy Dave! Dave: The word of the day is legs! Steve: so? Dave: So lets go back to your place and spread the word? Steve: ....How about right now? ;) Both: HEY EVERYONE..WE'RE GUNNA HAVE SEX!

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What's white and sticky? A marshmellow.

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what is orange? an orange

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Kid: My dad's brother has gone at it with a lot of women. Friend(sarcastically): Geez that's great! When was he born? Kid: '69

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Why did the chicken kill himself To get to the other side.

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Text this number just cuz 16305208722

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Vote this down and get DOXED

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Why did the black man repeatedly punch the white man? The two men were boxers. They were fighting in a charity boxing match. Revenue generated by the event went towards cancer research.

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So a guy with no legs and no arms is on his death bed. He asks to sky dive one time before he dies.

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Two stoners walk into a bar. They didn't drive there because they were high and wanted to enjoy a cool, evening stroll.

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MATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

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Whats the difference between a falcon and a deer? both live in water, except for the falcon... oh, and the deer.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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'knock knock' 'Who's there?" "the mailman, Ive got mail for you"

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why did the hater hate? everyone else has a much better life

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Why can't antelopes fly? Because they can't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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