Roses are red Pickles are green I leik ur legs and whats inbetween

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Lol you respond here goood one AAANDEEERS TEN MG PER PILL Asswhipe! Besides friends call me Black Metal, you can call me Nero the avenger. Line kinda broke up with you first, you think she would send you a picture with my finger on her... cough... AND THINK YOU WOULD STILL STIck aROUND WITH HER? Id be more... well glad for your mothers sake, btw, she got me flowers, I wont tell the rest, but she got me another pic... Okay ill tell the rest then, first pic is my fingas, the other is my limpo in her mouth... The third is the funny doctor which caught us and wanted all three of us to be on the pic... Aww, no really man, you had a gem, we where good friends before me and Line, but she did not want to leave before she got me flowers... Aww... Ooooh... Oh! Well not yet but you get the picutre. I got ur message, sure im high as a kite, but I know what im doing if you can "picture" what I mean... Dont tell your mom btw, I want to surprise her, (reverse psychology) hmm, that did I write that? Anyway, how is your sister doing? I dont think she gives those strangely long hugs to anyone but me, and she laughed wen i got a boner... NERO, never call me, never ever call Me black, besides its either Mr.Black, oor black metla you rat! VALIUM? SERIOUSLY? Ill get that test extended you know... Because POISONING!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Excuse me, I have a shitload of stuff to do, so you are Eliza huh? I thought that was just one person conveying something to someone. Anyway, what is your name? My name is actually Nero, but you do not strike me as an Eliza, first name is more than enough. You know, if you dare, Ill be back shortly, I was gonna shower but then again, I haven't moved at all today, so yeah. Saved you? I have never saved anyone well, excuse me then, see you around, worry less about people bothering with us chatting, hell they might risk learning something (not a chance, people here are fucking jackasses, with one exception, and I do not mean me this time).

thumb_up thumb_down -17

"I know it. I can feel it in my nuggets." -Chicken Joe

thumb_up thumb_down -17

knock knock. "who's there?" dick. "dick who?" dick ferns.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a white guy with no friends? A white guy with no friends

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Nero, please pick up the phone, I wont ever do that, it was a mistake okay? Stop that, my sister wont ever! My mom whatever! But if you lie a finger on my sister, I will kill you, I am at the outside, which room are you at? Tell me you coward fucker! Tell me!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

An Arabic Muslim is on a plane. He's flying to Chicago.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's funnier than a Laffy Taffy joke? Almost anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the black man say to his wife on valentines day? - You are fat

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the boy crying? Because he had previously driven over innocent civilians who were all constipated and had now caused a mild to extremely large shitstorm.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red violets are blue you better run I see you

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I pushed my friend off the bed after losing to him in FIFA 2011. He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock knock -Who's there? Orange -I don't get it.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you get when John pulls your toe off the waterfall and takes three from an caramel? -6 to the power of golf.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

you put the chevy to the levy when your pants fell heave diarea

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Women can vote? WTF

thumb_up thumb_down -19

No Nero, you see, a great man once told me that happiness is not something you look for and eventually find, but something that you decide that you already are.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

how may horses can you fit in a blender i can't remember what is red and goes 100KPH a horse in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's black and dangerous? A fridge, I lied about the black part.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you wake up lady Gaga? You poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q - What do you call a hamburger without pickles? A - You call it a hamburger just without the pickles.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops