A train poops its pants.

how much will u suck my dick for? $100, $50, $25, o u said none so u give freebees!!!!

What did the monkey say to the African American? Monkeys cannot speak, therefore it would not be able to communicate with an African American, who is an equally respected member of the community, in an efficient way.

Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

What do you call an Islamic man fling a plane? A very frightened passenger who took over flying the plane when the pilot collapsed due to a heart attack

Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She didn't have a dog.

person 1: i have a good knock knock joke person 2: ok what is it? person 1: say knock knock! person 2: knock knock person 1: trollollollollollollo

A man walks into a bar but didn't say anything because he is mute.

What is better than getting a job? Getting a better job.

man: im hungry can i have a sandwich wife: go make one man: then what are you gonna do

I heard that you could burn punds so I found a fat kid and set him on fire

Why did the monkey cross the road? It didn't. It died!

Once upon of time there was 2 boys named Bucky and Thorn. They were best of friends and always came up with amusing adventures. So one day, during summer time before high school senior year, Bucky and Thorn went to go hiking on the mountain called Mt. Saint Lasik. It was the tallest mountain of the city. The city was called "The City of Dreams" because everyone had a dream that one day they will accomplish their goals. Well Bucky had a goal and his goal was to be the youngest to ever climb the mountain. However, Thorn was jealous because he as 11 toes. Since he can't hike they decided to go camping at Walala National Park. One day they saw a big huge bear named Pervus. Pervus told them that they were not allowed to be there. Thorn told Pervus to shut the hell up because he can't hike mountains. A girl came suddenly showed up. It was a girl named Sally. She was half black, white, Spanish, ad French, and she could sweet talk bears. Pervus said "Now it's time to boogey woogey woogey" and began dancing like a maniac. Police arrived. Officer Caleb Johnson was in the scene to investigate. "Where were you at the night of April 24th?" To which Bucky replied "To what do I owe pleasure of speaking?" Harry, his front door neighbor stole the cop car and drove off to New Guinea. God knows how or why Harry showed up. Coincidentally, Sally decided it was time to leave. Everyone left utterly confused. The End.

how do you get a scouters power level to 9,000? power levels dont exist in real life therefore cannot reach 9,000

If you'd turn to page 43 you will find the homework. Have a good weekend!

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Knock knock! Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave Smith. Oh, hey Dave. Come in.

3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

Why did the snappy dresser take a button off of a coat? To see a button fly! NO YOU IDIOT YOU DID IT WRONG, IT'S SUPPOSED TO ABOUT ABOUT A "BUTTER FLY" OMG YOU DOLT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A black man got sentenced go prison for stealing a car. He didn't do it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To look at the most interesting man in the world.

What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

Who do you call when there is a ghost in your house? You should problably call the doctor, you may be hallucinating.

how many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? 2 one to hold the latter and one to put it in

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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