How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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david poredos

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Why didn't the man laugh at his son's joke? Because he was born without a mouth.

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what has two feet and is black all over? your mom after she died in a horrific house fire.

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Listen Nero, you consider us like friends too right?

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OOOOPPS /

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Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

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Basically copying you.

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Which is better; having a billion dollars or a trillion dollars? Trick Question, you aren't that rich.

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A White guy, Asian guy, and Black guy walk into a bar, and the Black guy wins the joke, as to not be racist.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Roses are red.

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Why did the Asian eat rice? Because its food

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A duck walks into a bar- nope, just chuck testa...

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What's the dumbest animal in the rainforest? A polar bear.

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Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

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What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

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What did the faggot say? Nothing, he shot himself due to high school bullying and rejecting parents.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because animals walking across a paved street is a very common occurrence ever since the industrialization of the modern world.

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What was the strangest part about meeting a girl called Suzie? She had arms.

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What do you call a penguin that hangs around in playgrounds? A paedophile.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a short term memory Roses are red

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

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When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops